Saturday, July 24, 2004
just came back from CO concert... it was a huge sucess a right... and i cried.... again....partly because i felt very accomplished.... i played songs that i never thought i would be able to play... there were times when i really feel like giving up.... and give up cello... chinese orchestra... yue xia... hong mei.... but i did it!!!
another reason for me crying was the leaving of the sec 4s.... ok... that was the main reason.... well... the prospect of going into m4-03 or m4-01 without seeing chee gake or boon pin... without them nagging at us to arrange the chairs... without them da-ing pai zi for us....or even without seeing yirong reading at a corner or not having an gie to pull us back into real-life situation when we got too crazy.... well.... it just seems abit frightening.... feels kind of lost... ever since like sec 2.... my only motivation to get through a week of school was CO practices.... it's forever filled with fun.... i really dunno how CO practices will be like when i am like... the oldest and have to nag at juniors.... it's just... too serious for me... and then it's like... ever since sec 1... there had always been this group of ppl who we can turn to when we meet with troubles regardless in CO or in school studies, family problems... etc...... and then suddenly... i have to learn to cope without these seniors.... it's like... losing a kao shan..... i noe we had expected these right at the beginning and i was just telling eunice a few days ago that what will come would come... but... it's still abit overwhelming....
die.... i feel like crying all over again....
23:49
