Friday, August 04, 2006
why am i trying so hard to meet up with your expections when i fully understand that you are not going to appreciate it and you are not going to make the process easy at all?
i thought it will be a good thing to be able to control my temper a little better so as to lessen conflicts esp with the people around me. but why did i end up hiding behind this facade that isn't me at all? how can i manage to smile as if nothing had happened when i was so bothered by it?
i miss those days when i could just walk into the class room in a really bad mood and just sit there where no one will bother about me and i don't have to bother about them. i miss those days when i could just flare up and shout for what i think is right.
just because i don't show it doesn't mean that i will never lose my temper. it's just that you've never seen it before. and trust me, you wouldn't want to see it.
i hate what i see in myself now.
i feel like a clown, whose only purpose in life is to entertain others.
23:53
